One thing I have learned

Throughout the year I have had a continual learning curve. Every time I feel as though I have my job figured out something new pops up and I am reminded of how little I really know. Just today I was in a situation and somebody asked me a question and all I could do was look straight back at him and honestly say, "This is the first time I have ever done this and I have no idea what to do or what to expect." Every day there is something to learn. Thankfully there are things I have previously learned that can be applied to my role as a guidance counselor, and I honestly believe it is something that every person could and should learn: people want to be listened to.
We walk around with a lot on our minds. There are a lot of things that can make a heart heavy, or full of joy. Often we fail to learn about these things in other people simply because we fail to take the time to listen. Listening is not hearing the words coming out of someone's mouth and instantly queuing up your next thought - all the while ignoring everything else the person is saying. Listening is intently and carefully listening to what is being said. But it can go further than that. Not only is it hearing the words that are spoken, it is listening to the way in which they are spoken. Listening takes time. It takes focus and effort. It takes patience.

I feel blessed because in my role I have the opportunity to sit and listen to people. I have always told my students, co-workers and friends my door is open and they are welcome to come in and talk about whatever, whenever. I truly feel blessed when people come in and feel comfortable sharing things. And it is not always "big deep secrets" we need to share. Sometimes we have successes we want to share. We have an experience we want others to know about, or awkward situations that are simply too funny to keep quiet about. People want to be listened to.
I have one student in particular who comes in fairly regularly. Often when he comes in I can see the frustration in his demeanor. Something has happened and he needs to let it all out. So he sits and talks, while I listen. Sometimes you have to ask specific questions to get specific answers, but there is always something inside that desperately wants to be heard. When he leaves he will often say, "Thanks Tommy" and walk out. I always find that a bit odd, because more often than not I'm just sitting there. But I listen and that's what he needs and that is what he wants.

I want to encourage you to make the time to truly listen to someone. Be willing to be patient, quiet, and listen. It sounds so simple because we hear so much noise all around us. We hear the radio, we hear the TV, we hear the phone ringing and the people talking. But who are we really listening to?

I found the following thought online from Dietrich Bonhoeffer and thought it would be applicable to close with...

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear.

So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking where they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too.

This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.”