This blog was initially set up as a means for family and friends to get a weekly update on my life in Germany. In recent weeks, I have found myself using it for a different purpose; re-reading and reflecting on previous posts that described how I was dealing with certain situations. The most obvious example being my comparison between the post I wrote the day I left Germany, and the post I wrote exactly a year later.
Over the past week or so I have found myself reflecting on the post here that I wrote within the first three months of being in Germany. That post was written within a week of my birthday, which I am sure made me a little more emotional, as it was my first birthday in a new country. What struck me about the post I wrote almost six years ago is the way in which I was trying to voice my desire to be known. To have those around me who understand me, who know me, who get my sense of humor (whether or not they laugh is a different matter). Though it occurred almost six years ago, I still distinctly remember having a conversation with my close friend, Timmy, on my birthday about the topic of being known. I remember comparing my personality to a suitcase that is lost while traveling. In the case of the suitcase, it is still in transit, it is coming, and will arrive at some point – yet you aren’t entirely sure when it will show up at your doorstep. In the same way, I felt as though different parts of my personality were still in transit. At the time of the post, there were many people who didn’t know about my love of soccer and running. There were those who didn’t realize I use sarcasm in my humor. People did not yet fully understand me, nor did they truly know me.
The reason this particular post has recently been on my mind is because within the past week I traveled to Texas for a wedding of a very close friend from BFA. Throughout the weekend there were close to a dozen different people from BFA present, and the weekend was spent laughing, talking, sharing, and celebrating. Though I had never been to Houston before, being with those people made everything feel like home. I was with people who knew me. We cracked the same jokes we had grown accustomed to over the years. We played the same card games we played countless times before. At the wedding reception we even had our own table reserved with the centerpiece reading, “BFA family” because that’s what we are.
Throughout the weekend I didn’t have to explain what BFA stood for, what the relationships with everyone are like, why it was such a beautiful place….those I was with knew. They knew the places. They knew the lingo. They understand the transition.
After the wedding we were scattered to different airports throughout the country and a text message chain started. I believe the following text explains the weekend so well, “I loved the trip. I felt so blessed and refreshed. It’s like I got to remember this huge part of myself that people here don’t fully get.”