Friday, July 3, 2015

Transition? Again?

Two years ago I wrote this post as I prepared to transition from five years in Germany, to life in the States. One year ago I wrote this post as I reflected on my first year back in the States. In looking back at those posts, 2013 seemed to be one in which I was trying to prepare for the upcoming transition. My post in 2014 was more of a look back and reflection of that transition. Now, as I sit down to write in 2015, I am writing while once again on the brink of another transition. 

To be truthful, I feel as though the transition that began in 2013 took a full 18 months to work through. There was no specific day where I came home and said, "it is finally over!" It was more of a slow and general process where I finally began to feel settled. However, with a longer period of transitioning that means I have only been out of the transition phase for roughly six months. Within the past six months I have been able to evaluate what I did poorly throughout the transitional phase and what I did effectively, both of which will prove helpful with my next transition. Over the past six months I have come across a number of things where I could honestly say, "I did not do that well." Though tough to admit and be slapped in the face by my own faults and failures, I am thankful for the opportunities to recognize mistakes and hopefully correct them for the future. 

As I look back at 2013 and my emotions prior to that transition I could easily use these three words to sum up how I felt; fear, loss and nervous. As I look forward to this next transition and all that is ahead of me the three words that come to mind first are; joy, excitement, adventure. The song I quoted at the bottom of my post in 2013 could not be sung without tears in my eyes. It was sung with a heart that was mourning, fearful over the unknowns ahead, and lonely. As I prepare to transition yet again, I feel the following song by Jesus Culture called "Come Away" is an accurate portrayal of my heart's condition. It is sung with joy and excitement as I gain anticipation of the adventure that lies ahead. A portion of the lyrics I truly love: 

I have a plan for you, I have a plan.
It's going to be wild, 
it's going to be great, 
it's going to be full of me